| Copyright 2005-2008 Dr. Jad Khalaf, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved |
| "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." II Timothy 2:15 |
| The Abandoned Husband BY DR. JAD JAMAL KHALAF Marriage is sacred. In the eyes of God, when a man and a woman join together in marriage then they become one. You have tried time and time again to find Martha. On your behalf, you have done all that you possibly could. You and your wife entered into a covenant with one another. Now that covenant was till death do you part. I cannot tell you that divorce is right in the eyes of God. From looking at your situation, your wife does not seem to be a part of the marriage anymore. The kids as well as yourself have suffered much pain. I cannot even begin to imagine the lonely nights that you have gone through. One thing is for sure and that is if you are a Christian, then God said that He will never leave nor will He forsake you. When the storm does not seem to go away, God can calm your storms. Though there are times when He calms His child through the rain, wind, and rough waters of the storm. If God is your Heavenly Father, then He will love you no matter what you do. God’s heart must break every time He sees His children in distress. Though God frowns on divorce, I do not think that God will punish you. God may not come right out and whip you but I think that this situation has brought along its own type of whipping, in some sense. You have lost your wife, your home, and your kids are with your parents. It is hard to understand during this trying time in your life but God does not put on us more that we can bare. Now to you that statement seems to not include you, but think again. Life is not fair and there are things that happen in life that we do not understand. In fact, you may never understand why this happened. I want to encourage you to spend more time with your kids. Your kids might not have their mother with them, but they still have a father who needs to love them. During times like these is when kids need their father, mother or both parents. Another woman could never replace your kid’s mother. There will never be another Martha. There will also never be another Bob. Take your kids on outings and show them that you have not abandoned them. You, not your parents, should be raising your children. If you were to get a divorce, I do not think that you should date. I think that God’s Word is clear when it says that the one who remarries commits adultery on their behalf as well as on behalf of their new spouse. As I said earlier, God might not come straight down and whip you with a whip but I do think that God would not have you remarry until your wife was to pass away. Even if you got remarried, what good would that do to the kids. Your new wife might not accept your children and once again your children would feel abandoned. I think that you should concentrate on providing what is best for your children. A new wife is not best, but a dad who loves them is. As unlikely as is seems, there is still hope that God can restore your marriage again with Martha. Look at Hosea, God told him to go marry a harlot and to stay with her. Through it all, Hosea always trusted God and never divorced his wife. I think that you should really pray and seek God’s will on what He would have you to do. Once again, I am going to tell you that I cannot say that divorce is right in the eyes of God because it is not. |
| Dr. Jad Khalaf |