| Copyright 2005-2008 Dr. Jad Khalaf, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved |
| "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." II Timothy 2:15 |
| SHOULD SEXUAL INTIMACY INCREASE WITH COMMITMENT? BY JAD JAMAL KHALAF A Christian single may pose the question, “Should sexual intimacy increase with commitment?” For many years, singles knew about the singles’ sex triangle model. Respected Christian authors, counselors and professors have taught this dominant model. The singles’ sex triangle teaches that the level of commitment determines the level of physical involvement. If the level of commitment grows then the level of physical involvement grows at the same pace. Sex is until marriage. The male and female each balance the physical involvement. One problem with this is the idea that the male or female may not balance the physical involvement in an appropriate manner. If both individuals are imbalanced, then the relationship may be in danger. Some serious problems arise from the singles’ sex triangle. One problem is that the male may have a different definition of commitment than the female. He may push the physical involvement for his pleasure. The female may desire greater commitment in the relationship than the male. She may allow the physical involvement because she feels the male is “really committed” to her. Another problem is that the commitment level between the individuals has reached the engagement stage. At this time, the male, female, or both may feel that the physical involvement should include sexual involvement. The singles’ sex triangle should be replaced with the singles’ value triangle. One major ingredient was missing from the singles’ sex triangle. The ingredient is to help build each individual’s moral sense of self-worth and value through celibacy until marriage. This ingredient is included in the singles’ value triangle. The singles’ value triangle replaces the levels of physical intimacy with the levels of value. In so doing, the levels of value reminds the male and female that the God’s gift of sexuality is an expensive and treasured gift. The singles’ value triangle helps couples realize that the greater the level of commitment the greater the value of each other. Thus, the physical intimacy should begin to become less important. The male and female will respect each other and value the time of getting to know each other as an individual. If the relationship heads towards marriage, then the individuals in the relationship need to hold off on physical intimacy. The male and female will each save up their emotional and physical intimacy for marriage. BIBLIOGRAPHY Rick Stedman, Your Single Treasure: The Good News About Singles And Sexuality (Chicago: Moody Press, 2000). |
| Dr. Jad Khalaf |