Copyright 2005-2008
Dr. Jad Khalaf, Ph.D.
All Rights Reserved
"Study to shew thyself approved unto God,
a workman that needeth not to be ashamed,
rightly dividing the word of truth."
II Timothy 2:15
IS SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE OKAY?




BY

JAD JAMAL KHALAF



The infamous question, “Is sex before marriage okay?”  Sex is a precious gift from God that is
reserved for marriage.  Honor and glorify God with the body.  Ephesians 5:3 says, “But
fornication, and all uncleaness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as
becometh saints.”

Chastity means abstaining from sexual activity.  One rule for Christians:  “Total abstention from
sexual activity outside of marriage and total faithfulness inside marriage” (Proverbs 5).   The
apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:1-2, “(1) Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto
me:  It is good for a man not to touch a woman.  (2) Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every
man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”   The one rule is not up for
negotiation, discussion, or alteration.

Sexual desire is God-given and natural.  Satan seeks to distort the sexual desire by deceiving
individuals into thinking that anything physically done outside the context of marriage feels good
and is not bad.  The deception may be as follows, “God gave the sexual desire, so go ahead and
give in to the desire.  He will understand.  By the way, every one is doing it.  You do not want to
be the ‘only one’ to wait until marriage!  What will your friends say?  What will your date think
about you?”  Many Christian individuals believe Satan’s lie.  They are without honor and dignity.

The first chapter of the book of James offers insight into temptation.  A Christian striving to live a
sexually pure life needs to understand how temptation works.  First, Satan makes temptation feel
natural and good (James 1:14).  The lust of the eye, heart, emotions, and thoughts tempt a
Christian to sin (James 1:14-15).  The eye is the window of the soul.  It can seduce a Christian.  To
avoid the eye’s seduction trap, a Christian needs to train the eye to behold only things that are
pleasing to Christ.

The eye can lead to the temptation of touch.  A Christian needs to be cautious when touching a
member of the opposite sex, especially during dating/courting.  Take the temptation of touch
very seriously.  The relationship will bring about times when the two individuals are alone.  Be
careful that the temptation of touch does not present a problem during the alone times.  A good
idea to think about is never be totally alone.  The individuals may spend time talking at each
other’s house.  Make sure that someone else is at the house.   Romans 13:13-14 states, “(13) Let
us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and
wantonness, not in strife and envying.  (14) But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not
provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.”

Purity is not just about lustful thoughts, lustful actions, and inappropriate relationships.  Purity is
about living a pure life with the presence of Christ indwelling a Christian.  A Christian’s body is
the temple of the Lord.  Christ paid the ultimate price for sin, death on the cross.  A Christian is
bought with a price, the blood of Christ.  Purity can be seen as glorifying God in body and spirit
every second, minute, and hour of every single day (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).




BIBLIOGRAPHY

Elisabeth Elliot, Passion And Purity: Learning To Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control
(Grand Rapids: Fleming H. Revell, 2002).

Ravi Zacharias, I, Isaac, Take Thee, Rebekah: Moving From Romance To Lasting Love (Nashville:
W Publishing Group, 2004).
Dr. Jad Khalaf
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