Copyright 2005-2008
Dr. Jad Khalaf, Ph.D.
All Rights Reserved
"Study to shew thyself approved unto God,
a workman that needeth not to be ashamed,
rightly dividing the word of truth."
II Timothy 2:15
HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?




BY
JAD J. KHALAF




“How far is too far physically?” a Christian single may ask.  God’s standards, not an individual’s
feelings, are the determining factor in answering the question.  The Bible has much to say about
sexual standards.  1 Peter 1:13-15 challenges to live a holy life and not live according to the
former lusts.

“(13) Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that
is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.  (14) As obedient children, not
fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:  (15) But as he which hath
called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation.”

The apostle Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 4:3 to abstain from fornication or sexual promiscuity.  
Promiscuity can include a lack of sexual standards, doing what feels right, and going all the way
in a dating relationship.  God’s command is to flee fornication.  An individual’s body is the temple
of the Lord; it cost a price, and should glorify God in every aspect of life.   1 Corinthians 6:18-20
states:

“(18) Flee fornication.  Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that commiteth
fornication sinneth against his own body.  (19) What?  Know ye not that your body is the temple of
the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?  (20) For ye are
bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”  

Do not think that living a life of sexual purity involves only touching.  The mind and heart should
remain pure and free from sinful trash.  The Bible says to resist the devil (James 4:7), protect
against lustful looks (Job 31:1), and put on the full armour of God (Ephesians 6:13).  Individuals
involved in a dating/courting relationship need to have a dating plan for success and rely on
God’s power (Psalm 16:8).  God’s Word will guide an individual in establishing how far is too far.

The physical affection in a dating/courting relationship may feel right but only adds confusion
towards the meaning of love.  Society defines sex as love and love as sex.  Individuals involved
in a dating relationship often mistaken true love for sexual intimacy and physical attraction.  Most
of the time, a dating relationship begins with physical attraction and then leads to intimacy.  The
individuals involved in this type of relationship live only for the present.  The focus then turns
toward the physical aspect of the relationship.  

Lust can lead to sinful actions.  Relationships built on lust determine the relationship’s level of
seriousness by the amount of physical display of affection that the male and female display.  The
physical affection can cause guilt, regret, and disobedience to God.

God calls for and demands sexual purity.  Proverbs 4:23, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for
out of it are the issues of life.”   Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and
desperately wicked:  who can know it?”   Guard the heart and protect from its sinfulness.  The
world proclaims, “Follow your heart!”  God says, “Follow Me, I know everything!”   1 John 3:18-21
says:

“(18) My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.  (19)
And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him.  (20) For if
our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.  (21) Beloved, if our
heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.”




BIBLIOGRAPHY

Clark, Jeramy. I Gave Dating A Chance: A Biblical Perspective To Balance The Extremes. Colorado
Springs: WaterBrook Press, 2000.

Harris, Joshua.  I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Romance and Relationships.
Sisters, Oregon: Multonmah Publishers, Inc., 1997.
Dr. Jad Khalaf
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