| Copyright 2005-2008 Dr. Jad Khalaf, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved |
| "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." II Timothy 2:15 |
| WHAT SHOULD BE THE CHRISTIAN VIEW OF ROMANCE? BY JAD J. KHALAF What should be the Christian view of romance? Romance is a slow process. Non-romantic time spent together is a great way to get to know an individual. Spend time together with a group of friends, just hanging out, and enjoying each other’s company are some non-romantic ways of getting to know each other. A romanticized friendship comes from romantic feelings. The feelings felt in a friendship strive to turn the relationship into something that is not there, romance. A healthy romance does not strive to turn the relationship into romance but involves self-control and offers a deep, satisfying relationship. Table 4 will help in determining a healthy romance or a romanticized friendship. TABLE 4. Healthy Romance versus Romanticized Friendship Healthy Romance Romanticized Friendship Desire is based on first being rooted in love elsewhere. Desire is based on empty neediness for the other person. Other’s freedom is valued. Other’s freedom is a problem. Relationship draws in friends. Relationship shut others out. Conflicts work out okay. Conflicts threaten the relationship. Mutual feelings. One person feels romantic, the other doesn’t. Friendship and romantic feelings coexist. All-friend or all-romantic feelings; can’t be both at the same time. Pure romance is through appropriate actions and words. The male in the dating/courting relationship will want to grow in pure romance with the female. The relationship’s first priority is not pure romance. Pure romance has its place in the relationship. The feelings shown are to please Christ. Non-physical expressions play an important role in the courtship. Romans 12:10, “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.” E- mails, cards, flowers, lunch, and other expressions of gratitude are some examples of non- physical expressions of pure romance. The male should take the initiative to make sure the relationship has pure romance and to offer non-physical expressions of gratitude towards the female. BIBLIOGRAPHY Cloud, Henry, and John Townsend. Boundaries in Dating: Making Dating Work. Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, 2000. Harris, Joshua. Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello To Courtship. Sisters, Oregon: Multnomah Publishers, Inc., 2000. |
| Dr. Jad Khalaf |