Copyright 2005-2008
Dr. Jad Khalaf, Ph.D.
All Rights Reserved
"Study to shew thyself approved unto God,
a workman that needeth not to be ashamed,
rightly dividing the word of truth."
II Timothy 2:15
WHAT ARE BOUNDARIES IN DATING/COURTING?




BY
JAD J. KHALAF




A Christian single may wander what are boundaries in dating/courting.  A boundary in
dating/courting is a property line that sets limits in a person’s life.  The boundary defines an
individual and serves to protect.  Boundaries can be set through honest feelings by usage of
words, through providing distance in a relationship, and through the support of friends in
distinguishing a time limit.  Individuals involved in a dating relationship or interested in a dating
relationship need to set boundaries.   Colossians 2:20-23:

“(20) Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living
in the world, are ye subject to ordinances, (21) (Touch not; taste not; handle not; (22) Which all
are to perish with the using;) after the commandments and doctrines of men? (23) Which things
have indeed a shew of wisdom in will worship, and humility, and neglecting of the body; not in
any honour to the satisfying of the flesh.”

The boundaries will serve as a fence that protects the individual’s property and beliefs.  Table
three will list some contents that are located inside individual’s boundaries.  The contents will
help define and protect an individual.

TABLE 3. Some Contents Located Inside Individual’s Boundaries
1.  Your love:  your deepest capacity to connect and trust.
2.  Your emotions:  your need to own your feelings and not be controlled by someone else’s
feelings.
3.  Your values:  your need to have your life reflect what you care about most deeply
4.  You behaviors:  your control over how you act in your dating relationship.
5.  Your attitudes:  your stances and opinions about yourself and your date.

The established boundaries will help an individual in a dating/courting relationship.  The first
boundary line establishes truthful trust.  Honest, truthful trust is the foundation of any dating
relationship.  The individuals involved in a relationship should not be deceptive.  If one
individual does not feel the relationship is moving towards commitment, then be honest and
share the feeling.  Do not stay involved in a relationship just for the sake of being in a
relationship.




BIBLIOGRAPHY

Henry Cloud, and John Townsend, Boundaries in Dating: Making Dating Work (Grand Rapids:
Zondervan Publishing House, 2000), 28-33.
Dr. Jad Khalaf
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